We're coming in fast on the one month until I leave mark. Currently I've been asked a lot of what I'm thinking and what I'm feeling. After all, I am getting really close to literally moving as physically possible from home for the next two years. That's a big step.
The first thing that comes to mind is that it doesn't feel real still. Maybe next week when I go to a week long training at Wheaton College, it will. If not then, maybe when I have all my money raised. But if not then, definitely when I board the airplane. And in the rare case that even after I land it still doesn't feel real, my guess is it will a few weeks after being there. When kids show up persistently in my classroom every day and expect me to teach them for the next 9 months or so. By then, it definitely has to feel real. But for now, it doesn't. And I think that's okay. I think changes don't really hit us in life until we realize we can't go back (not that I want to).
I'm also feeling excited. I love adventure and this is going to be one of my grandest. I'm excited to meet the missionaries who spend every day working for the Lord over there and getting the chance to serve them and their families. I'm excited to meet locals, build relationships with people that are nothing like me, and learn a lot about another culture. I'm excited to learn to live in a way so unlike what I've been taught here in America. I'm also excited to have my own classroom with my own students (who will think I'm grown up enough to make all of the important decisions for us!). I'm excited to mentor these students, love and challenge them into greater depths in their relationships with Christ. I'm excited for the friendships that are sure to happen, the laughter and the joy the Lord will bring me and my new comrades over there.
I'm nervous too. I'm nervous that I won't get the money in time. I'm nervous that I'll forget to pack really important things and then be unable to obtain them somehow over there. I'm nervous that I'll be too wrapped up in my ministry there that I'll forget to stay in touch. I'm nervous that everyone will forget about me over the two years I'm gone.
But over all of the feelings I'm having, the last few days I've had this weird sense of peace. Despite all of the changes that are about to occur in my life, the Lord's still with me and the Lord's still in control. And He's had this plan up His sleeve since before I was born. So I rest in peace knowing He will take care of everything and lead me as I go.
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7
