I spent the last summer (and for that matter the two before it) working at Lake Ann Camp. It is at this place that God has changed my life and brought me back time and time again to teach me lessons (and that's without ever being a camper). Over the next few days I hope to produce a series of blogs outlining what God has taught me this summer. This is the first because it seemed to be the general theme and the most important lesson. Besides, any other lesson God could ever teach us is only possible because of His great grace.
Before I even get started on this lesson, I must speak of its relevance in my life. One of my greatest flaws is often my inability to perceive my own weaknesses. It's not that I don't have weaknesses or I try to be arrogant, I just don't naturally see those weaknesses. Usually it takes a lot of awareness which I don't often take the discipline to use so that I can discover and work on those weak areas. But lest, I appear to be rambling....
This summer God was quick to point out my weaknesses. In particular, I often had a checklist of 1st Corinthians 13's definition of love running through my head:
Kacie is patient.....Well I was until that camper took 20 minutes to put their shoes on or asked the same question for the 28th time......sigh, not check.
Kacie is kind.....Well unless it's funny, like stranding other counselors in the middle of the lake....not check.
Kacie does not envy, does not boast, is not proud..... Shoot, I don't think I even have to bring examples in for everyone to know I sometimes fall real short in these areas.
Now I could go on forever with this and much more detailed and with many more examples. I mean aside from just analyzing my life in regards to 1st Corinthians 13, my prayer life is most days scattered and not nearly what it should be. I lack the discipline to pray for the others I should, even my campers and the people I often promise I will pray for them (at least on a very consistent basis).
And when we sum all this together and more, what I was reminded of on almost a daily basis was that I'm not perfect. I'm not as loving as I'd like to think I am, I'm not as patient or selfless as I'd like to think I am, and I'm not the prayer warrior that I'd like to think I am. If I were Jesus and looking for someone to do my work, Kacie Leneway would hardly be a top of the line choice. But Jesus in His great mercy did choose me.
We often are reminded of God's grace that saves us, and we usually limit His grace to that. But this summer He taught me that His grace is so much more. His grace allows me to pick myself up when I fail Him and keep going. His grace sustains me when the pressures around me get to be too much. His grace allows me to give Him the burdens I carry. But the biggest lesson I learned is that it's in grace that a holy God would lay out good works for someone as imperfect as me to do (Ephesians 2:10).
I used to picture service to God as a boss with employees. The boss asks employees to do work and if they don't do it well, the boss just passes it off to another employee or it doesn't get done because the boss is doing other things. However this summer I've realized that it's more like a puppy dog trying to please His owner. As the owner trains the puppy, the owner gives the puppy little tasks to do (like retrieve the newspaper) not because the owner can't do them, but because the owner wants to give the puppy a chance to please him. And the puppy gladly does it because nothing delights the puppy more than pleasing His owner.
Yes, this is a really lame metaphor. But God doesn't need us. He chooses us to do His work. He delights in us doing it. And although our job usually is done sloppily and not at all as well as He would do it, He not only lets us do His work but sets up the opportunities for us to do it. He's behind and before us; and has laid His hand upon us every step of the way (Psalm 139:5).
So the moral of the story is as I perceive these weaknesses more and more, I don't get down about it as I once might have. It just makes me marvel more and more at the depth of grace that God would choose to show me. It brings me to a place where I see nothing more appealing than this Savior whose grace goes deeper than I could ever imagine. So praise be to the God whose grace saves, transforms, and prepares good works for imperfect people!
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